Creating healthy boundaries is something that I had to learn to do. A boundary by definition is ” a line that marks the limits of an area.” Why does one need healthy boundaries? We need healthy boundaries because without them we are over worked and underpaid. Without healthy boundaries we leave ourselves taxed. I want to talk to you about creating and maintaining these healthy boundaries.
Have you ever experienced someone who called you later than you would like for them to, or sent text messages to you that you really didn’t appreciate? Have you ever been around a certain “friend” and they cross the line every-time? Well if so those are your boundaries being crossed, violated, and overstepped. An example of a boundary being crossed is when things happen that make you feel uncomfortable in your personal space. You should never feel uncomfortable in your own personal space. The first step to setting and creating healthy boundaries with the people that you love and care about are to verbalize them. We can not expect for people to read our minds. That is virtually impossible for everyone to do. We can not hold people accountable for what we have not blatantly told them, its just a losing situation. Yes common sense is a thing, however, no we cannot assume everyone operates in the same level of common sense. What might be, feel, and seem like common sense to me might be totally disregarded by You and vice versa.
Speaking up can feel hard sometimes. This is because we don’t address situations the first time they happen. When we allow things to build up inside of us this creates a certain tension and friction in our body. Speaking up doesn’t have to be hard, and you owe no one any explanations of your personal boundaries. Sometimes its good to have a third party that is neutral there to help mediate any tension when setting the boundaries. Its good to get things in writing when dealing with co-workers, friends, and business relationships. Set boundaries that are healthy and be firm in them. You are making the environment around you breathable and for this you should not be ashamed.
I set healthy boundaries all the time. I let them know that my inbox on social media is not for personal use but for business. I let folks know where I stand, this is empowering. It feels good to know that you can voice your feelings and be heard, accepted, and respected most importantly. You have to walk the walk and talk the talk. You have to set the boundaries and actually enforce them for them to maintain a healthy life. If you plant a seed and don’t water it then what happens? This is true to everything, well a lot of things in life. If you don’t water and nourish these boundaries then they will die. Healthy means to share and be open from a place of love and transparency.
I want to leave you with this short idea. Imagine a world where what you said was so. Imagine a space where you are the creator, the destroyer and the generator. Imagine life coming from your thoughts and words. Imagine anything you said had power to manifest itself. This doesn’t actually have to be an imaginary thing at all. You have that power today! I invite you to stand in your power. Let people know how to treat you. Let people know how to love you. Let people know how to be in your space and it be beautiful.
To the ones reading and wanting more I love and appreciate you more than you know. I thank you for being here.