Have you ever wanted something so bad and after getting it the importance or value seemed to diminish? I’ve have that happen to me several times before in my life. I wanted something so badly and when I got it I didn’t really care about it so much. In this I’ve learned simplicity is key to a life with less suffering. The more the ego wants the more you lose to material things of the world. The less you feed into the ego the more you grow in your spiritual walk.
By no means am I telling you to sell everything in your home and go live in an RV. By no means am I frowning upon you because of the things that you wish to buy or spend your money on. I am only offering a perspective. I was at once someone who needed to shop, even if I didn’t have much to spend I would go thrifting. This especially satisfied me. Just the thought of “buying” something new. I began to refer to it as retail therapy. I justified it by saying I look nice or I feel nice, knowing damn well I had no more space in my home for many more clothes. I had to search inside of me. Why am I making all of these purchases? Why am needing to surround myself and my space with things? What am I running from? Why can’t I sit still and deal so that I may heal? I asked myself these real questions.
I stopped shopping and started going to my mat. I spent a lot of time writing and reflecting, asking and answering these questions sometimes with brutal honesty. I began to move my body instead of curling up when things around me became tense. I got rid of a lot of things. I began to purge my body and my life. I am so happy that I made that conscious decision.
One by one the things that I released were replaced in a new way. I wouldn’t even necessarily call it new I would say an upgrade if I’m being totally transparent. Material things started to diminish and my life became empty enough to receive bigger and greater things. This for me was changing. I learned to value things, people, time, space, and energy. I gained networks and valuable resources. I gained knowledge and for me that was worth everything.
Today I am learning more than ever that it is in fact my ego that wants to hold on to things. I am realizing that it is the attachment to anything that brings all suffering. I am learning to detach from mental distractions and cultivate peaceful spaces and atmospheres. I invite you to take time and explore what makes you truly happy and fulfilled. Release the things that weigh you down and distract you from your peace. There is always a process. Nothing happens over night, so take your time. Be gentle with yourself always.
Thank you for reading and receiving. I look forward to sharing with you each week.
Creating healthy boundaries is something that I had to learn to do. A boundary by definition is ” a line that marks the limits of an area.” Why does one need healthy boundaries? We need healthy boundaries because without them we are over worked and underpaid. Without healthy boundaries we leave ourselves taxed. I want to talk to you about creating and maintaining these healthy boundaries.
Have you ever experienced someone who called you later than you would like for them to, or sent text messages to you that you really didn’t appreciate? Have you ever been around a certain “friend” and they cross the line every-time? Well if so those are your boundaries being crossed, violated, and overstepped. An example of a boundary being crossed is when things happen that make you feel uncomfortable in your personal space. You should never feel uncomfortable in your own personal space. The first step to setting and creating healthy boundaries with the people that you love and care about are to verbalize them. We can not expect for people to read our minds. That is virtually impossible for everyone to do. We can not hold people accountable for what we have not blatantly told them, its just a losing situation. Yes common sense is a thing, however, no we cannot assume everyone operates in the same level of common sense. What might be, feel, and seem like common sense to me might be totally disregarded by You and vice versa.
Speaking up can feel hard sometimes. This is because we don’t address situations the first time they happen. When we allow things to build up inside of us this creates a certain tension and friction in our body. Speaking up doesn’t have to be hard, and you owe no one any explanations of your personal boundaries. Sometimes its good to have a third party that is neutral there to help mediate any tension when setting the boundaries. Its good to get things in writing when dealing with co-workers, friends, and business relationships. Set boundaries that are healthy and be firm in them. You are making the environment around you breathable and for this you should not be ashamed.
I set healthy boundaries all the time. I let them know that my inbox on social media is not for personal use but for business. I let folks know where I stand, this is empowering. It feels good to know that you can voice your feelings and be heard, accepted, and respected most importantly. You have to walk the walk and talk the talk. You have to set the boundaries and actually enforce them for them to maintain a healthy life. If you plant a seed and don’t water it then what happens? This is true to everything, well a lot of things in life. If you don’t water and nourish these boundaries then they will die. Healthy means to share and be open from a place of love and transparency.
I want to leave you with this short idea. Imagine a world where what you said was so. Imagine a space where you are the creator, the destroyer and the generator. Imagine life coming from your thoughts and words. Imagine anything you said had power to manifest itself. This doesn’t actually have to be an imaginary thing at all. You have that power today! I invite you to stand in your power. Let people know how to treat you. Let people know how to love you. Let people know how to be in your space and it be beautiful.
To the ones reading and wanting more I love and appreciate you more than you know. I thank you for being here.